My Friends
by Rainbor123
Summary: Raven visits with her old friends.
1. My Sunshine

**I don't own Teen Titans.**  
><strong>This is a product of You Are My Sunshine and The One That Got Away. So yes, sad.<strong>

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><p>And so I entered Jump City, with a heavy heart and an intent to visit my oldest friend.<p>

I walked slowly over to _his_ new home, trying not to cry.

_Trying._

I know I could have floated, but I thought that seemed so impersonal, and I don't think I could control where I went. I had looked forward to talking with _him_, laughing with _him_, and making fun of _his_ frailty in old age.

I feel the rain start up. I'm thankful for it though, because it means that no one can see me crying. I doubt that anyone would still remember me, for I was the dark one; the creepy one. I know what the people said about me, and while Beast Boy and Starfire would get fan-mail by the cartloads, all I got was an occasional letter, asking me to come to go to a gothic party or a poetry reading. Would it surprise anyone to know that I never liked poetry? That my favorite genre _isn't_ horror? That my favorite color isn't purple? That if I could, I would have smiled, and laughed and acted _alive _if I could? But I can't. So I resign myself to being the dark shadow that leaves as soon as possible, shooting down any offers of anything fun, because I know if I get to attached, I'm likely to harm someone. So I keep my distance. And I let her take my place, because _he _deserves to be happy, _he _deserves to laugh and smile and act alive. And I encouraged _him_ to ask her out, to make the first move. Even though the thought of it broke my heart.

When we were on missions (Oh, how I miss fighting alongside someone. It's hard to fight when there is nothing worth fighting for.) I made sure _he _lived, and I made sure _she _lived, too, I healed and defended _him_, and cheered him up, because although _he _was with her, she didn't know _him_. Didn't know that _he _hated mornings. That even though _he _pretended otherwise, _he _liked his coffee with at least three sugars. But I knew that, so in the mornings I would bring _him his_ coffee, just way _he_ liked it, and sometimes I wish that instead of nodding at _him_ when he thanked me, I would have winked, smiled and said 'You're Welcome' and_ he_ would have looked at me with his eyes as wide as saucers, jaw dropped, and I would have smiled wide and pushed up _his_ chin. But I didn't do that. I never made any sort of hint that indicated that I liked _him_. _That I loved him._

Then I had to leave.

In time I came back, with my powers mastered. But that was only to go to _his _wedding. I saw _him_, and saw how _he_ looked at her, and the whispers in the back of my head telling me to speak up as the preacher said speak now died out as _his_ eyes lit up, taking in her beauty.

She was beautiful, that day, in her white wedding dress. But it was _him_ that my eyes never left. And when Cyborg saw me in the back of the room, hiding in the shadows as always, he didn't mention anything to anyone, because he knew that I left because I loved _him_, and didn't have the courage to stay and see _him_ with _her_. And he didn't say anything when I fled the Reception, just giving me a sad nod of farewell.

That was the last time I saw _him_

That was fifty years ago.

A week ago I got it in my head that I needed to visit _him_ before it was too late.

So I enter _his_ home of five years, looking at my ageless hands, and wishing that all who I loved, had my abilities. But I would never wish that upon anyone.  
>I see it and drop to my knees, knowing that this is the last time I would be visiting.<p>

_Here Lies Richard John Greyson._  
><em>Loving Husband,<em>  
><em>Fighter of All Battles.<em>

It was already too late.


	2. See You Again

**I don't own Teen Titans. **

**This is inspired by "See You Again," and it goes along with the theory that Raven has an extended life, if not immortal.**

**I might make this a series, Raven's reactions to the other Titan's deaths.**

**Just going to point out that this is completely AU. I do not know how each Titan died in the comics (or even if they died).**

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><p>Victor Stone was my best friend. Many thought that that title would be given to Starfire for her youthful exuberance, or Robin with his cool demeanor, or even Beast Boy for his constant pestering and attempting to see my smile. But Cyborg's easy-going heart and sharp mind made him the person I went to when I wanted to rage, or to vent, or to exchange witty comments.<p>

Imagine my heartbreak when I learned of his death. He died three days after his beloved wife, Karen, who we all knew as Bumble Bee. There was noting wrong with him, nothing medical at least; I believe he died of a broken heart and a weary mind. That was just the type of person he was, very loyal and effected by his and others emotions, sometimes I though he was the empath instead of me. I saw the remaining Titans the day of his funeral, there are only three of the original Titans left. Starfire is still beautiful, even in old age; her skin is wrinkled and her hair is no longer the bright red orange that she was famous for, but her green eyes still sparkle with joy, even if there is less in there than when Robin was alive. Beast Boy is still very green; his voice no longer cracks when he speaks, and the laugh lines around his eyes tell of a happy life full of smiles. I didn't see him smile once at the funeral. Sometimes I forget that Cyborg had more than one best friend. His funeral was so solemn, he wouldn't have wanted us to be sad. He would have decided that we need to eat breakfast, even though it was the middle of the day. He would have gotten in an argumant with Beast Boy about meat vs tofu, and Starfire would be making some awful concotion that she would call pudding; there would be waffles, smiles, and loud yelling that would hurt my ears and cause me a headache, I would have loved it. But he won't do that. He can't. He never will again. He'll never yell Booyah! or work on his car. And I will never be able to thank him for all of the years of strength that he has given me, I will never be able to repay all the times he has given me solace in the form of allowing me to touch Baby or encouraged me to be happier.

The day of his funeral was one of the worst days of my life. It didn't rain or storm, it was just an average summer day, hot and sunny, almost as if his death was being mocked. I saw people I hadn't seen in years, Jinx was there, crying beside the Flash, who was sitting behind some really old guy in a suit who said his name was Oliver. It was a really beautiful ceremony. There was a minister, even though I wasn't aware that Victor was religious. He was buried right beside Karen, whose grave was still fresh. I helped lower his coffin into the ground; it felt so heavy, I thought it would crush me under its weight.

I hope that he is happy, where ever he is. I don't care if it is Heaven or Elysium or Valhalla, or if he is reborn as the son of a billionaire who loves him and protects him. If their isn't any afterlife, and its just darkness that he sees, I hope he feels how loved he was. I wish he knew how much he was valued, and how many people he meant so much to, how much he still means to them, to me.

I have had a long day, and I am suddenly realizing much I relied on our talks. I could tell him about how I played Stankball with Beast Boy (That thing has gotten grosser with age. Both the ball and its owner.) But it is okay, I will just tell him when I see him agin.


	3. My Immortal

**I still don't own the Teen Titans.**

**This one-shot was based around My Immortal by Evanescence.**

The next Titan to fall was Beast Boy. People called him Changeling by that time, but he would always be Beast Boy to me. No matter how tall he had gotten in the time I was away, he would always be shorter than me when I think of him. His face is still round with a hint of baby fat, his limbs are still awkwardly too long for his body, and he would still have that little tooth poking out from his bottom lip in my memory. I cannot associate the grown man in the casket with his square jaw and wrinkles with the boy who used to tell me awful jokes in an attempt to make me smile.

I wish I had given him that smile.

Beast Boy was always in my way. Yelling at the TV when I was reading, Asking me obnoxious questions while I was meditating.

Trying to pry open my door when I wanted to be left alone. I don't think he ever knew how much that meant to me, his constant attempts to get me to open up. It showed me that he cared, that just because I wanted to be alone didn't mean I had to or should be. While the other Titans would let me have my space, Beast Boy was always there to stick his large nose in my business.

He has called me creepy, and he's yelled at me for bumping into him.

But he also gave me a penny for good luck when he learned about my father and my fate. He reminded me that I don't have to do _anything_ without one of my friends by my side. It was heart-wrenching when I realized he would never be at my side again.

He made me want to smile with his smile, and laugh with his laugh.

That is why it is so hard to look at this man and see one one of my best friends: he's not smiling anymore, and it breaks my heart. His smile was always permanent, and I'll never be able to see it again.

He was never able to sit still. It drove me insane, but now that I'm looking at him, as motionless as stone, it looks so wrong. He was always so vivacious, his emotions were almost painful to feel, like looking into the sun. Now that I can't feel them anymore, it feels like a part of me will always be cold.

Starfire wasn't able to attend his funeral. She said something about not being able to face any of the people there without breaking down. When did Starfire start caring about sharing her emotions? I missed so much of my friends lives that I look at the corpse in front of me and can barely recognize the person lying there. His skin is wrinkled, his eyes are hooded even in death, and he looks so thin lying in the satin lined bed.

But he is still Beast Boy. I can tell from the laugh lines around his eyes. The little tooth is still poking out from his lip. The elf-like ears that he was always so self-conscious about.

I wish I was there to see those lines take place on his face. I wish I had some laugh lines on mine.

_I wish I still had that penny._


End file.
